If you have a self-love issue, it’s time to get up and do something about it. There are lots of reasons why you might want to put your own needs first, but the most common reason is ego or insecurity issues that need to be dealt with first.
The best way to start doing this is by making yourself vulnerable in some way. For example, if you feel like you cannot say anything good about yourself, don't try to keep your emotions bottled up. It can be as simple as saying “thank you for reminding me that I'm pretty on the inside.” The truth is that you are pretty (or you just am). You should not hide from anyone. This kind of honesty is important to building trust and being authentic in all relationships. When you let anyone see what kind you are on the inside, you have built walls. These walls help no one get close to you. A healthy relationship is one full of open communication and understanding of each other’s individual truths. Not talking about yourself is bad because it makes you feel insecure about who you really are.
In addition, when you become comfortable enough to talk about more personal things, you will start to realize how much your feelings actually affect others, even your loved ones. There is also evidence showing that self-love is an essential component of success in love, and there are plenty of studies that point towards that idea. In fact, having self-love is related to higher levels of positive emotion and greater happiness. So if you’re struggling with the desire to love yourself then there are things that could improve your self-esteem that you can begin to do right away. Some examples are loving yourself while listening to music; working out hard and trying new activities, practicing mindfulness and meditation techniques, going outside and enjoying nature, getting fresh air and exercise, reading books and poetry, and watching TV programs featuring characters and settings different from your own. There are tons of ways you can practice self-love at home. Go online to find resources and videos on how to start loving yourself.
In fact, there are many apps available today that can help you find resources and encouragement in order to help you build your self-love muscle. One popular app used to be called T3.0 Love. At its core, it's a free app designed to help those struggling with self-love, and has several games in which students have to create the perfect person to impress. They can use this to figure out what it’s like to have a perfect match in society. Then they can compete in various competitions until it becomes clear who has the best personality. By the end of the game they can post photos of themselves winning on social media. Since then, there has been a significant increase in popularity. Most of these apps are free to download and it’s easy to get started.
So now that you have some ideas on how you can help yourself, take the plunge and start practicing them. Put yourself out there and be confident in yourself no matter what the situation is. We can all improve, even in our interactions with ourselves. Take a moment to consider whether or not you are worth the love you give yourself. Do you deserve the kindness shown to all the kids you meet? Would you be better off if only everyone else was nice to you? How would life be different if you had an extra friend next to you every day who saw you for exactly who you are and didn’t judge you? What are some things you could work on to make yourself more beautiful? Have conversations about how lonely you are. Is your negative thought process a thing? Are you afraid to say the wrong words? Does bullying or being isolated make you feel unattractive? . Even things like depression and anxiety can be improved with just a few minutes of positive thinking. Just as you can’t change the world until you give yourself permission to love your body the way you want it, you need to love yourself before you can give yourself permission to live your dreams. You need to do everything you can to feel secure and loved.
I always encourage people to look beyond the superficial. Sometimes, when we’re feeling down on ourselves, it isn't going to seem like there is another option besides complaining and crying ourselves into a depressed puddle. And if you’re looking for a solution, here is the solution to your problems: taking action! Go through the steps and slowly love yourself through them. After a month, if nothing changes and you're still unhappy, you’ve got nothing to lose. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself and write them down here. Start by thanking yourself. Be thankful for the clothes you’re wearing. Be grateful for the food you’re eating. Practice gratitude and start appreciating the small things you’re able to appreciate. Write out positive statements about yourself and focus on them. Focus on the little things people are willing to acknowledge that you have. Get up and talk about yourself and your life. Talk about your strengths and weaknesses. Be honest about yourself. Set aside a timer in your phone and remind yourself that you need to appreciate the good things in your life and not focus on the things you don’t. Then remember three points and focus on them for half an hour. Feel the love flow through you. Now consider what you could do to make yourself feel happy. Tell yourself it’s only for a few minutes and let the thoughts go by. Instead of focusing on the negative things that you can’t control, focus on the thoughts that are under your control and say them aloud. Say “I’m sorry”. Or just say a simple “I’m fine.” Breathe slowly, and give yourself permission to love yourself and focus on the positive things that you can control. Notice all the little things you can’t control. And realize that the world is a place that makes you feel more wonderful than you often realize.
That may sound cheesy, but hear me out. I promise these actions will eventually lead to a happier life and a better life for the two of you. If you really want to make yourself feel good, you’ll be happy. But you have to keep going and at least for now, just focus on whatever feels good about yourself. Take advantage of all the thoughts, little by little, and focus on the positive messages. Over time, you'll come to see them as things you would rather remember or create, instead of dwelling on things that have already happened in your past. And when you love yourself enough to treat yourself right, then you deserve whatever love shows you to treat you right.
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